Not that I am counting, but it has been 4 weeks since my humble little home was broken into and things are slowly getting back to ‘normal’. The intensity of the trauma on that day got locked into my body, as well as, into my mind. For the next several days after the break-in, I felt like I had been in a car accident where my body tensed up to brace for the impact. In the heat of trying to hide from him and then trying to run to escape, my body tensed up and my jaw clenched, just as the flood of adrenaline rushed through my trembling body. The end result was my body ached all over: my jaw was so sore, I had to move to a soft food diet for a couple days; my neck, back and shoulders were sore and tightly locked up; and finally, I had a terrible headache that went on for days.
My mission for the next few weeks was to seek help from my natural health healing team. I visited my chiropractor and my massage therapist to get work done on loosening up my body. Those treatments gave me some physical relief and day-by-day, I felt the tightness loosen its strangle-hold on me. The most amazing treatment came from my acupuncturist. I had sent her an email ahead of my appointment to let her know what had happened to me and that I needed some serious anti-anxiety and anti-trauma points for the needles. From all of my years of receiving acupuncture treatments, I knew that there are great points for stress-relief and great points for physical healing and pain relief. Once I was on her table the day of my appointment, she told me that she has very specific treatment points for severe trauma. In fact, she has traveled the world to Thailand, Burma and Africa to provide acupuncture treatments for people who have endured extreme mental, emotional and physical trauma. She placed many needles in both of my ears and it felt very strange. She believes very strongly that these points help the body release the trauma that is trapped in the body and has seen it ease the suffering of those folks she treated abroad. I must admit, I was skeptical that these needles in my ears could allow all that terror and trauma to flow right out of me – like a balloon releasing all its air. I am, however, very open to try new things for healing so I set my intention to relax into whatever healing came my way.
As I lay there on the table with my eyes closed, I ‘saw’ these vibrant flashes of color. Each color faded into the next burst of color – from yellow to green to red to blue and back to yellow again. I ‘saw’ intricate designs in black with the colors bursting from behind the designs to create gorgeous images that were constantly evolving. The black designs were like ornate filigree. Now, I don’t know about you, but whenever I close my eyes I always just see black / darkness. It was a treat to see these new bursts of colors and designs in my mind’s eye. I have had two trauma treatments from my acupuncturist now, and both times I ‘saw’ these incredible colors and ever-changing design images with my eyes closed. Both treatments have helped me tremendously. After the first trauma treatment, I felt like the negative charge of the break-in had left my body. I could talk about it without the stress of re-living it coming up. It was almost like I was able to tell the story of it like it happened to someone in a movie. After the second trauma treatment, I felt like the lingering fear I have experienced has diminished. I clearly still have more work to do in coping with this incident, but I feel so much more stable and less vulnerable and I truly believe that these acupuncture treatments have successfully allowed my body and mind to release the horrific trauma of that day. To that I say, “Thank you for leaving my body.”
The mandala I painted is a small interpretation of those beautiful colors and images I ‘saw’ during the two trauma treatments. Instead of black designs, I used blue to create my simple filigree. I had planned to use black, but then when I got my paints out, my hand went to the blue instead. I always follow what color my hands are drawn to since my inner wisdom knows what it needs to express. Blue suggests calmness, serenity and peace. I also noticed the symbol of a cross on this mandala. The cross is reminiscent of the form of the human body, standing in perfect balance, with feet together and arms outstretched. I am grounded in the earth and open as I release the trauma and invite healthy, new things into my life. Although this may be a stretch, I do see a very rudimentary web in this mandala, along with what looks like spiders. The web is an archetypal symbol of the weaving that brings form into being. This is an indication that I may be laying the foundation for a new cycle of growth. To that I say, “YES!”
In my mind’s eye I do see a path toward healing from the trauma I experienced. I hope that in your mind’s eye you do see a path for healing from what wounds you have suffered in your life. Healing is our right and our bodies naturally want to return to a healthy state.
For more information on my amazing acupuncturist, you can check out her beautiful website where she writes about her work.